Grrrrrrieving

Elisabeth Kubler Ross wrote about DEATH AND DYING and her book included the steps associated with grieving. That was 1969. I read it in college during a psychology course or maybe sociology.

I'm entering step 2 today. ANGER: anger over Frieda having to die, more anger at the people who mistreated her so badly she feared her own shadow, even guilty anger at myself for not being able to fix it.

Expect me to write about it on this blog. Look at the title if you doubt for a moment that I wouldn't open up and try to rip those unknown individuals (I hesitate to call them humans)"a new one".

We had six dogs. Some people would say that's too many. But there are two of us and we are retired and we love dogs. All the dogs were adopted/rescued - call it what you will, they all have pasts, usually sad, some bad. Frieda's was both.

You might not think going from six to five would mean much. But it does. Each of them is bonded to the others and to us in lots of ways. One of our dogs had been tied to a tree in the country, her dead puppies and 17 other adult dogs nearby. The property owner lived an hour and a half away and drove by once or twice a week to toss out food. If the chain went far enough to get some of it then a dog was lucky. That's Sally's story. Needless to say she has issues.

We started out fostering Sally. She was adopted by friends but ran away, in the country, and that led to 9 days of searching for her, thru mucky fields. It was Frieda Joy who truly brought her back to safety, walking with me thru mud on that ninth day, making a "scent path" back to the live trap set for her. The next morning there was Sally, waiting. We brought her home. She and Frieda found solace in the life they shared here. Sally sits in Frieda's spots and went to Frieda's feeding spot when Frieda wasn't there Monday night.

I'm angry that Sally had already had much taken from her and now she has lost her best friend. Don't we all know how that feels?

For Sally and the others Frieda Joy was the alpha dog. Just her presence made it clear, even when she was frightened. She was first to the door with a greeting, first to a lap when thunder and lightning started, first to leap into the car when a field trip was in order. She got treats and then everyone else got them. We tried not to over-pamper her, tough as it was, because all the books say it's not good for them. But we spoiled her and protected her.

We just couldn't keep her from the demons she brought with her, the past sewn into her soul, carved on her heart. She covered them bravely with all the love she could muster up but sometimes those bad guys eeked out.

We helped her through those times but this time they beat us. But they didn't get the best of her. That's ours, all ours.

One Full Moon, Eight Dogs, and a Strange Cat

4 a.m. is not a great time to get up. Especially true if there's no sound reason to do so, it tends to make one need more make-up and feel hungry at odd hours. I wish we had a turkey to put in the oven and roast.

Nonetheless, here I am. OK, it's 5 a.m. but I have been awake for an hour, composing this in my mind.

There's a full moon and the dogs know it. All 8 of them (ours plus 3 visitors) and their additional personalities. We know there's a good dog/bad dog for each of them. Who else shows up on these full moon nights? I'll tell you. One new strange, stray, long-haired black cat. Lovely. Just what we need - another reason to be territorial.

And, we all know dogs will go back to sleep instantly, as soon as they get what they want, usually kibble, out, and a little attention. Then they lick themselves inappropriately, drop over on your personal space, and start with what gets us every time, "Oh, look how cute! He's dreaming." or "Aren't her little dream whimpers sweet?" Uh-huh.

But I'm up. I did mention that, didn't I? Short of making coffee or taking a dog for a drive to an all-night store to get the abovementioned turkey, there isn't much else to do other than write in the blog. (Sorry, don't take it personally.)

Actually when you read this you should count your blessings that we haven't crossed paths in some other way. If I go out somewhere today I know at least I, and probably others, will write notes to me and pin them to my shirt so that when I get home I can read them aloud to the four-legged culprits. They all start something like this:
Your person was not in the best of form today. Perhaps a nap, providing a little more sleep, would be beneficial. She seems a bit disturbed and grumpy.

Do yourself a favor. If you see a crazed female who needs a makeover, trolling the grocery store as if she has the blind nibblies, and perhaps even talking to herself and wearing her tee shirt inside out, give plenty of room when nearby.

Beware, one full moon, eight dogs, and a strange cat can play with your mind.

Grandpa, How Did You Know?

Long ago and not so far away, my grandparents lived and farmed. Grandpa, whom I never knew, participated in a plan offered by Modern Woodsmen of America. Today is my grandfather's birthday, a fact I didn't know for decades until one day I told my mother that July 9th is my favorite day of the year - something good always happens on July 9th. Along the way he was given a certificate and what appears to have been a huge calendar or print.
Regardless of what this last item started out to be it is dated 1898 and was framed at some point so it now is mounted above our fireplace, with the certifcate affixed to the back of it, keeping like items together, not a common practice in this household!

Today one of our foster dogs, Serena, who lived here from January thru March 2008, came to stay for a few days and it was like "old home week" for her and her then-foster mate, Sally. Sally is ours now. Upon her arrival we made small talk with her owner. I congratulated him on being appointed head basketball coach at one of the private religious high schools nearby - a very competitive rival for other schools. It had to be a plum of an appointment. I indicated I'd read about him in the newspaper and am just now am saying congrats...but I just said "job", nothing specific.

He looked puzzled and asked which job.

I replied "...head coach..."

He announced he'd just taken a new job, two weeks ago and was wondering how it made the paper already! Obviously it had not.

He is involved in opening up an office for Modern Woodsmen of America, back in this area, as they have been gone for a long time.

The world is small in so many ways. In just a few minutes we spanned over 100 years and matched up one person's family history with another person's family future. All this, of course, came about because of a dog.



Happy Birthday, Grandpa. I wish I had known you.

Harmony's Way to Happiness

Pretty "zen" sounding if I do say so myself. The pooch is outside bringing the big stick to the door as a gift, perhaps a peace offering of some sort, or pre-payment for some mischievous deed she'll perform later in the day.

















There are times when she lives up to her full name - Harmony Victoria. She delights us with occasional sweetness shown to her playmates; certainly when she is serving as "Donation Dog" for APL she fools everyone into thinking she's a stellar ambassador, always on her best behavior. The Victoria is because she is part pit bulldog and is my own nose-thumbing gesture towards vicious Michael Vick, whose own experience with the law took place around the time Harmony arrived at our home.





But today, her name takes on new applications! The State of Illinois has a victory in the governmental systems and a new governor because the systems worked. No doubt there is cheering up and down and across the State. Once again there will be an opportunity for harmonious living and working.


And, that's nothing to shake a stick at.

Precious Dog Hein, June 1993 - December 2008

We know God watches over us but this week we underwent yet another loss, that of Precious Dog Hein. Yes, she was 15 1/2 years old and we knew full and well she felt the loss of Scout a couple months back. They were inseparable from the time they met, day and night, together either in their pen or in the house. They were like an old couple, only dogs. One saw. One heard. They yammered at each other if one was too close to the others bowl. They leaned against each other. They snuggled together all day long in their dog-loo, ignoring the birds, cats, people traffic and younger dogs coming and going in the other fenced in area.

She awoke on the 17th and told us it was time. If you have had a pet you've had to help you know what how they communicate it through their looks. Her head stayed down, her eyes solemnly surrendered. She had no energy, no substantiation to continue.

I like to believe that she gave us these additional two months in our post-Scout world, because she knew us well. It would have been her wish to go with Scout and she was as surprised as we to find she was here and Scout was gone. But she pulled herself together and joined the younger dogs in a frenzy of remembered behaviors that found her going up and down the two stairs on the patio, running a step or two, getting excited when she didn't know what the excitement was all about, and finally just signaling everyone to go ahead without her, she was sleeping this one out.

We did what we could to keep her comfy. No baths, good food, a special place in the kitchen, all fluffed out and right in the midst of foot traffic so she got lots of petting and hugs and acknowledgment. She got kisses from everyone, 2 or 4-legged, who went past her as she rested.

The morning each dog came by and said goodbye to her. I wish they'd been able to do that with Scout, who went in the night, quietly without prelude. But perhaps they were sending their greetings on with Precious. Don't tell me they don't know; they know only too well. They probably know better than we for their lives are less complicated. I suspect their relationship with God is the same - they know, they don't question. They understand death leads to new freedom, new life.

So now, only a couple of days later we have welcomed Lazlo into our home. He's our latest foster. A collar was embedded in his neck but it's been removed and he's healed from that injury entirely. He is quirky and cute and, for now, all boy. That has everyone trying to figure out what's next! But they know he's here to get ready for his own forever earthly home. And, they know when he leaves it will be different from when Precious left.

You DO meet the nicest people.

Zeke and I went to the nursing home. He was soooo good. Then we drove all the way back and across the city to a big box pet store to get him some canned food and a large box of large treats for everyone to share. He met lots of people and maybe his future owners. They were the nicest people and seem very interested in him as a buddy for Moses, their dog. I think they would have taken him right then and there. We'll see. He's darned good. I really had thought he could move to the White House. Hello Barack? It's about a dog for the girls...On the other hand, he's made friends with all the dogs here and Ed hasn't met him yet. To the people who met Zeke and Mr. President - just try and get this dog!

Speaking of the nicest people, a real surprise occurred yesterday when I took the greens orders for the library staff over to them, from APL. Since I was out at the shelter I offered to pick up and drop off the wreaths and door swags. Well, blow me away. I got inside the library office and the director presented me with a book, SAVED. It's about rescued animals, and their rescued people. I was taken aback. It was from the Library's Friends board, of which I'd been president and/or secretary for a number of years. This was totally unexpected. And, they selected something that focuses on my other passion - taking care of living creatures who've not had it too good so far.

Well, home with the crew last night I managed to cry my way through some 50 pages. It took a long time because the print is pretty blurry thru tears.

It's an amazing book. The group is amazingly thoughtful. I am amazingly fortunate.

And, we really shouldn't have anymore dogs. We help those who are homeless and then that opens a space for someone else who needs it. Yes, we did have 6 dogs. Yes, we will lose Precious soon. Yes, the dogs we have adopted are the "hard to place" ones so that complicates matters.

I keep telling myself those things.

HOPE-filled

One foster dog romps with one of our dogs.
One foster dog is sequestered in the puppy pen, having had her spay surgery yesterday.
One dog stands guard outside, ready to alert me if something shows up that is undesirable. He's strong and imposing but really mild-tempered unless he's riled up.
One older dog rests comfortably in the outside pen that is located in a quiet spot.
One dog nurtures another one on the sofa, both happy to have homes and be at peace.

Somehow in my own twisted way I see this as somewhat representative of America!

First of all, what I described above is really my world today; it is what is, right now, as I write.

Does my dog population reflect our society in some ways?
-There are the young who want to play and grow and learn.
-People of all ages need medical attention and even more so medical education so prevention not pills is the key.
-The elderly need our support.
-Some need a fresh start, not a handout but a hand up.
-Some stand guard - on our soil and elsewhere, sometimes apparent, sometimes in the background.
-Others help each other, lending a hand, giving a caring gesture, the gift of prayer.

We have a new administration being built already this morning. I think GWB is ready to leave and is relieved to be counting down the weeks. Being our leader has to be unimaginably complicated and complex, thankless. As President-Elect Obama said last night, in so many words, it is going to take all of us working to fix what has happened. I do not think we should blame Bush 1 or 2, Clinton - none of them. Don't start building an "I told you so" argument about Obama. It's up to us. When we point the finger of blame towards someone else we still have more of our own fingers pointing back at ourselves!

We are either part of the problem or part of the solution. It's time we accept responsibility and also the work that needs to be done. Admitting to the problem is the fist step, isn't it? But what follows is the action.

This country is not our parents' country. We must stop looking back and moaning. When we look back we should look at what we can pull from the past, adjust and use for the future. Our world, our country, our demographics, our individual lives are changed, not by one circumstance but by all, not by one policy but by all, not by one decision but by all.

If you haven't heard/seen P-E Obama's speech last night, and McCain's also, then you need to tune in somewhere and spend the time listening AND HEARING what is being said.

Then find something YOU can do to help.

We ARE the UNITED STATES! That's not an entitlement nor is it an ego thing. History tells us we are survivors, we fix what is wrong, we innovate and create, we build, we repair, and so much more...play, guard, care for others.

Get, and stay, positive. P-E Obama cannot do this without our commitment to be part of the solution. See this for what it is: your opportunity to make a difference.

Let's not spend time barking up the wrong trees.

CATS CATS and more CATS - You see 'em here first!

There are cats at APL.
They need homes.
http://www.apl-shelter.org

Here are some which will soon appear on the web site but don't wait.
Go see who is there already and waiting for a home.

Here She Is - Brighton, the Foster Pup

Well, isn't she just a doll? We think she is only 7 weeks old. Yes, she does sleep through the night - at least the first night. We put the old dogs in with her to keep her company! There is a squeal that she lets loose when she's wanting attention. Pretty good about going outside for all the right reasons too.

She was dumped.
Left in the country near a storm drain.
We have had record rains.
People who live nearby heard her exercising her lungs after their own dogs notified them that "something is out there".

She's with us for probably 15-20 days and then I hope she gets a great home.

Once a Baby, Now a Boomer

What a sad tale this fellow has but now APL has taken him into the shelter. Nuts as we are, Boomer may come to live his final weeks, months or years out at our house. Hopefully someone who has fewer dogs will benefit from his love but if not, he'll be bunking here with dogs in his own age group - 12-14 years.

Sometimes I question our sanity. But, it is never for long. We have the space. Yes, there is plenty of dust inside and let's not discuss dog hair. Our energy levels are not what we think they are. Dogs bark for attention and we can only hold so many on our laps at one time. I just laugh at the prospects of bringing in #7.

If pets bring laughter into our lives before we even meet them, imagine the joy and love possible when they take ownership of us!

Wherever Boomer takes up residency it is sure to be a better place than where he was. And, he will be loved to the end. For this and for him we are thankful for our choices.

AUGUST 20th update: Boomer has his new home and it is not with us. He and his lady love will spend his remaining years in great comfort together! Celebrate the companionship they are building!