Grrrrrrieving

Elisabeth Kubler Ross wrote about DEATH AND DYING and her book included the steps associated with grieving. That was 1969. I read it in college during a psychology course or maybe sociology.

I'm entering step 2 today. ANGER: anger over Frieda having to die, more anger at the people who mistreated her so badly she feared her own shadow, even guilty anger at myself for not being able to fix it.

Expect me to write about it on this blog. Look at the title if you doubt for a moment that I wouldn't open up and try to rip those unknown individuals (I hesitate to call them humans)"a new one".

We had six dogs. Some people would say that's too many. But there are two of us and we are retired and we love dogs. All the dogs were adopted/rescued - call it what you will, they all have pasts, usually sad, some bad. Frieda's was both.

You might not think going from six to five would mean much. But it does. Each of them is bonded to the others and to us in lots of ways. One of our dogs had been tied to a tree in the country, her dead puppies and 17 other adult dogs nearby. The property owner lived an hour and a half away and drove by once or twice a week to toss out food. If the chain went far enough to get some of it then a dog was lucky. That's Sally's story. Needless to say she has issues.

We started out fostering Sally. She was adopted by friends but ran away, in the country, and that led to 9 days of searching for her, thru mucky fields. It was Frieda Joy who truly brought her back to safety, walking with me thru mud on that ninth day, making a "scent path" back to the live trap set for her. The next morning there was Sally, waiting. We brought her home. She and Frieda found solace in the life they shared here. Sally sits in Frieda's spots and went to Frieda's feeding spot when Frieda wasn't there Monday night.

I'm angry that Sally had already had much taken from her and now she has lost her best friend. Don't we all know how that feels?

For Sally and the others Frieda Joy was the alpha dog. Just her presence made it clear, even when she was frightened. She was first to the door with a greeting, first to a lap when thunder and lightning started, first to leap into the car when a field trip was in order. She got treats and then everyone else got them. We tried not to over-pamper her, tough as it was, because all the books say it's not good for them. But we spoiled her and protected her.

We just couldn't keep her from the demons she brought with her, the past sewn into her soul, carved on her heart. She covered them bravely with all the love she could muster up but sometimes those bad guys eeked out.

We helped her through those times but this time they beat us. But they didn't get the best of her. That's ours, all ours.

One Full Moon, Eight Dogs, and a Strange Cat

4 a.m. is not a great time to get up. Especially true if there's no sound reason to do so, it tends to make one need more make-up and feel hungry at odd hours. I wish we had a turkey to put in the oven and roast.

Nonetheless, here I am. OK, it's 5 a.m. but I have been awake for an hour, composing this in my mind.

There's a full moon and the dogs know it. All 8 of them (ours plus 3 visitors) and their additional personalities. We know there's a good dog/bad dog for each of them. Who else shows up on these full moon nights? I'll tell you. One new strange, stray, long-haired black cat. Lovely. Just what we need - another reason to be territorial.

And, we all know dogs will go back to sleep instantly, as soon as they get what they want, usually kibble, out, and a little attention. Then they lick themselves inappropriately, drop over on your personal space, and start with what gets us every time, "Oh, look how cute! He's dreaming." or "Aren't her little dream whimpers sweet?" Uh-huh.

But I'm up. I did mention that, didn't I? Short of making coffee or taking a dog for a drive to an all-night store to get the abovementioned turkey, there isn't much else to do other than write in the blog. (Sorry, don't take it personally.)

Actually when you read this you should count your blessings that we haven't crossed paths in some other way. If I go out somewhere today I know at least I, and probably others, will write notes to me and pin them to my shirt so that when I get home I can read them aloud to the four-legged culprits. They all start something like this:
Your person was not in the best of form today. Perhaps a nap, providing a little more sleep, would be beneficial. She seems a bit disturbed and grumpy.

Do yourself a favor. If you see a crazed female who needs a makeover, trolling the grocery store as if she has the blind nibblies, and perhaps even talking to herself and wearing her tee shirt inside out, give plenty of room when nearby.

Beware, one full moon, eight dogs, and a strange cat can play with your mind.

Harmony's Way to Happiness

Pretty "zen" sounding if I do say so myself. The pooch is outside bringing the big stick to the door as a gift, perhaps a peace offering of some sort, or pre-payment for some mischievous deed she'll perform later in the day.

















There are times when she lives up to her full name - Harmony Victoria. She delights us with occasional sweetness shown to her playmates; certainly when she is serving as "Donation Dog" for APL she fools everyone into thinking she's a stellar ambassador, always on her best behavior. The Victoria is because she is part pit bulldog and is my own nose-thumbing gesture towards vicious Michael Vick, whose own experience with the law took place around the time Harmony arrived at our home.





But today, her name takes on new applications! The State of Illinois has a victory in the governmental systems and a new governor because the systems worked. No doubt there is cheering up and down and across the State. Once again there will be an opportunity for harmonious living and working.


And, that's nothing to shake a stick at.

School Has Started

Our team of volunteers went back to school today to begin the SIT STAY READ program. Each of us takes a dog or puppy from the shelter. Once there we spend an hour having 4th graders read to us. We change readers every 12 minutes.

And, we love it.

The students get to interact with a critter. They work on reading skills; the dogs never critter-cize them! The dogs get some socialization.

Our school has many students who have unfortunate home settings. This is one chance for them to have two breathing souls focus only on them.

I mean in a positive way.

One of my readers today is in a foster home because her biological mother beat the crap out of her. She came to school this year and told her teacher, "This year I'm going to be normal."

Let's hope so.

RMT, NT and G, and Ed

This past weekend we enjoyed cousin company. Our family has experienced generational geographic expansion. In other words, we don't live close to each other. I wish we all did.

There's never enough time to cover all the big topics.

So, this past weekend we talked as if we will be together again this weekend.

I forgot to say, "I love you." There.

And, for laughs - our 29th anniversary found us laughing at the reality that I had a dog in the car and couldn't stop for a card for my husband and he bought me a perfect card two months ago, with dogs and cats on it, and has no idea where it is. That tells you why we have lasted - we just laugh!

Once a Baby, Now a Boomer

What a sad tale this fellow has but now APL has taken him into the shelter. Nuts as we are, Boomer may come to live his final weeks, months or years out at our house. Hopefully someone who has fewer dogs will benefit from his love but if not, he'll be bunking here with dogs in his own age group - 12-14 years.

Sometimes I question our sanity. But, it is never for long. We have the space. Yes, there is plenty of dust inside and let's not discuss dog hair. Our energy levels are not what we think they are. Dogs bark for attention and we can only hold so many on our laps at one time. I just laugh at the prospects of bringing in #7.

If pets bring laughter into our lives before we even meet them, imagine the joy and love possible when they take ownership of us!

Wherever Boomer takes up residency it is sure to be a better place than where he was. And, he will be loved to the end. For this and for him we are thankful for our choices.

AUGUST 20th update: Boomer has his new home and it is not with us. He and his lady love will spend his remaining years in great comfort together! Celebrate the companionship they are building!