January, Ode to the Scale

Twas the month after Christmas; I showed up in the kitchen
Declaring a war but found no one would listen.
The candy is gone, the cookies all eaten.
The treats and snacks, my life, they did sweeten.

But now tis the time to awake and start fresh
If ever the day comes when I hope to weigh less.
It means putting the fork down and hitting the trail
I must walk much farther than just out to get mail.
Heaving and ho’ing I swing, sway and trundle.
It’s not just a coat that creates quite a bundle.


The fridge is all packed with carrots and berries
Brought in by the elves and good Christmas fairies.
Little did I know that eating blue cheese
Would widen horizons from neck to knees.

So, away with the licking of frosting and dips.
There must be a plan for locating my hips.
The crumbs? Let ‘em fall where they may
Shout to the pounds – get away, get away!
Bring for me a small plate and a tinier spoon
And pass the cucumbers and spinach real soon.

So, January is what it is, once again, in twenty-ten
I’ll dream night after night about being thin,
Get out the loose sweater and create quite a riot,
Shouting Happy New Year to all, let’s get on with the diet!