Save Your Fork

My husband had unused airline miles and received a letter about using them up.

You've all received those letters, haven't you? I think I got from from Ozark Airlines back in the 80's. Usually I toss them. That was not the case with Ed.

He took "advantage" of the magazine "offer". This happened about the time I was pushing a more green lifestyle so I missed hearing it when he told me he'd placed the order...hmmmmm...We receive catalogs, way too many, but had given up all magazines.

Nonetheless, by Thursday of this past week he was, well, fretting. It seems he was of the understanding that our subscriptions should have kicked in and he was mumbling about that, going to contact them, etc.

Then they started. He ordered Martha Stewart's LIVING. We got the April issue one day and May the next. Both were in the trash today.

Good thing because today, while he is out of town, BON APPETIT arrived. He's gone all week. Good planning on his part.

I'm not sure what this means. Is there a hidden message or a bold statement? Do I need to iron my mother's and grandmother's aprons and buy a shirtwaist dress? Our plates and tableware are each a "set" so it can't be about the table settings. We've watched enough Food Network that I know what "presentation" means now versus what it meant in my corporate days. I'm puzzled. He'll have some 'splainin' to do when he gets home, he will.

In the meantime, I was inspired tonight. I added a sliced pickle, make that Kosher Dill Spear, to the side of my now-sliced-diagonally grilled cheese and salami sandwich and embraced it all with a halo of leftover veggies. Martha has nothing on me.

Stick a fork in him. He's done.